Andyblizz
5th May 2005, 05:04 PM
http://www.omrlp.com/
Here are just a few snippets from their Manifesto. A lot of it makes sense!
We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.
Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a “total *******” tax for everyone else.
We pledge to reduce class sizes by making the pupils sit closer to one another and issuing them with smaller desks. Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school.
Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.
SAT’s tests will be abolished and replaced by Gordon Ramsey style cookery lessons and Rolf Harris art classes.
We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant.
Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
The Houses of parliament will be demolished and replaced by a mobile parliament. This will allow MPs to be picked up in the mornings if their cars won’t start. It will also allow the public to see parliament at work and members will be able to wave to the public as it is going along.
Drivers will be allowed to drive over roundabouts when there’s nothing about. This will make driving through Milton Keynes much more fun.
Any kerbs that are caught crawling will be arrested and the council will be fined £100.000 pounds.
Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it.
Any child found breaking the Auntie Social Order will be sent to their Uncles for a good clip around the ear.
All police will be made to say HELLO, HELLO, HELLO when making an arrest, this will treble the police force.
We fully back the government’s policy of discouraging binge drinking by opening pubs for 24 hours. We believe that 24 hours is not quite long enough and propose to make the length of a day 32 hours long so that the pubs can be open for even longer.
The Millennium Bridge will be made wobbly again, by building a pub at either end.
All computers will carry a hazard warning sign saying “Please do NOT forget to open your window before you throw this computer out of it”.
Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
Fox hunting will be re introduced under the “one hound – one dog” policy to make it a bit fairer.
All WMD’s (weapons of Mass Distraction) will be made highly visible so that we can find them.
Any politician wanting to start a war will be shipped off to the country in question with a bag of conkers. They can then conker the country themselves.
See more here http://www.omrlp.com/
Here are just a few snippets from their Manifesto. A lot of it makes sense!
We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.
Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a “total *******” tax for everyone else.
We pledge to reduce class sizes by making the pupils sit closer to one another and issuing them with smaller desks. Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school.
Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.
SAT’s tests will be abolished and replaced by Gordon Ramsey style cookery lessons and Rolf Harris art classes.
We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant.
Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
The Houses of parliament will be demolished and replaced by a mobile parliament. This will allow MPs to be picked up in the mornings if their cars won’t start. It will also allow the public to see parliament at work and members will be able to wave to the public as it is going along.
Drivers will be allowed to drive over roundabouts when there’s nothing about. This will make driving through Milton Keynes much more fun.
Any kerbs that are caught crawling will be arrested and the council will be fined £100.000 pounds.
Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it.
Any child found breaking the Auntie Social Order will be sent to their Uncles for a good clip around the ear.
All police will be made to say HELLO, HELLO, HELLO when making an arrest, this will treble the police force.
We fully back the government’s policy of discouraging binge drinking by opening pubs for 24 hours. We believe that 24 hours is not quite long enough and propose to make the length of a day 32 hours long so that the pubs can be open for even longer.
The Millennium Bridge will be made wobbly again, by building a pub at either end.
All computers will carry a hazard warning sign saying “Please do NOT forget to open your window before you throw this computer out of it”.
Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
Fox hunting will be re introduced under the “one hound – one dog” policy to make it a bit fairer.
All WMD’s (weapons of Mass Distraction) will be made highly visible so that we can find them.
Any politician wanting to start a war will be shipped off to the country in question with a bag of conkers. They can then conker the country themselves.
See more here http://www.omrlp.com/